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Crystal Witch Shopping Memes

When you’re a witch shopping for your friends and family, no matter what they asked for:

you get a crystal!

you get a jar of herbs!

you get a feather!

you get an oracle deck!

you get an aura spray!

you get another crystal!


Image description: photo of Oprah in a red suit. She’s holding a microphone looking pumped up in front of her audience.

The world right now:

Crystal Sellers:

Anyone wanna buy some crystals?


Image description: one half of the photo is a city on fire, the other half is of Will Ferrell hollering.

Oldie but goodie😉

My face walking around the crystal shop

Image description: 2 different photos of Agate stones that almost seem to have eyes and a mouth, expressing wonder and amusement; which is basically the ultimate facial expression of anyone that has ever walked into a crystal shop for the first time.

Believe it or not, people are still buying crystals during Covid-19. People are still buying things in general because they’re home a lot more. Anyways, I hope everybody’s hanging in there. Enjoy these memes.

If you’re the creator of any of these memes, please leave a comment so I can credit you. Thanks!

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SOLD: Amethyst Spirit Quartz

I figured I would change it up around here and use my Photoshop skills to create magical images with the crystals still available for purchase. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve already gotten bored of posting videos of them to my Instagram.

So here is one Amethyst Spirit Quartz cluster that is available for purchase. The cluster fits in the palm of your hand.


Copied & pasted from The Book of Stones:

Keywords: merging with the Higher Self, purification, protection, spiritual evolution, freedom from fear

Chakras: Crown & Solar Plexus


What can we learn from Amethyst Spirit Quartz? This is my personal take:

That we are spirits in the flesh, spiritual beings existing in a human body.

Most crystal meanings will say that the crystal will provide ‘protection’. Protection from what, exactly?

  • Negative energies / entities

How can a crystal provide protection?

The crystal has a stable molecular structure, humans do not. We are prone to being influenced by everything! Although crystals absorb energy in their environment, they mostly remain neutral.

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Crystal for Sale: Laser Quartz Cluster from Diamantina, Brazil

I’ve had this crystal for a while now, it is a Laser Quartz cluster from Diamantina, Brazil.

Everytime I look at this cluster, it reminds me of a spaceship travelling in the regions of outerspace. It is a spectacular crystal cluster that lays horizontally, with tabular almost flat crystals growing on top of each other.

You can purchase the crystal here.

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Dark Healing Crystals & Stones for Dark Times

I mentioned briefly on my Instagram that if you’re not feeling safe or protected during this time – due to the virus and racism on top of stressful personal issues – job loss, which leads to less to no money, which leads to even more stress because bills can’t get paid, etc.

I am suggesting that you turn to the darker minerals such as Black Tourmaline, Smokey Quartz, or Obsidian.

I personally do not believe we’re in dark times, although it MAY seem that way. I’m also aware that people are struggling, angry and frustrated with the systems we live with. If anything, we are being stripped away of things that have been distracting us and keeping us in a state of illusion. We can now see the truth and who we really are as human beings.

All crystals and stones featured in the photo are available. They are:

2 Gold Sheen Obsidian spheres (the smaller one has SOLD)
2 Smokey Quartz
2 Obsidian
1 Smokey Amethyst
1 Black Tourmaline (SOLD)
1 Black Moonstone
1 Fluorescent Blue, 30 million year old Amber (SOLD)

Dark minerals are especially good with protection, shielding and transmuting our environments – including ourselves – from negative energies.

What are negative energies? Negative energy can feel like:

  • Stress
  • Not feeling good in your body
  • Anxiety
  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Hate
  • Arguing and wanting to be right
  • Judgements
  • Snappy or short temperedness
  • Nervousness
  • Negative thoughts and statements
  • Regretting past actions
  • Saying mean things to yourself

Too much stress eventually leads to physical manifestations of pain. So you must learn to destress and find peace in the midst of chaos – your health depends on it!

Dark minerals help with grounding and manifestation; releasing feelings of not feeling safe or secure, releasing anxiety, stress, and fear.

While holding your dark stone you can take long, deep breaths and repeat the words “I am safe from inner and outer harm”.

I am safe from inner and outer harm.
I am safe from inner and outer harm.
I am safe from inner and outer harm.
And so it is.

Repeating this affirmation will program your mind, body and soul. Remember that your external or outer state is usually a reflection of your internal or inner state.

We are energy existing in a human body. And if energy cannot be created or destroyed but simply transformed from one state into another, then we have changed forms SO. MANY. TIMES. Our human existence may seem relatively short compared to the life of a crystal or a stone, but know that we are just as ancient. It would be overwhelming to remember ALL our lifetimes, it would make you crazy. And so we are “born again” into a new body, thinking we are “new”. We are in a constant state of amnesia until we have a so-called “spiritual awakening” which is really just a remembrance of who you really are.

Once you realize this then there is nothing to fear.

Of course you are still in a human body and so you have to adhere to human rules in society. So be considerate, wear a mask.

Also perfect since we’re in dark moon / new moon time.

Rest and dream up your vision of the future that liberates all people from their suffering.

You can find these minerals at Metaphysical Vibes online crystal shop.

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Metaphysical Vibes’ Completed Sketchbook for The Sketchbook Project


My best friends gifted me a sketchbook from The Sketchbook Project for my birthday and it is 90% completed. Here is a video of it.

How does one draw the metaphysical? That was definitely one of the things I thought about a lot as I started to fill out the sketchbook.

Of course I had to include crystals, but also things from my imagination.

I thrive on creativity and imagination. This crystal shop wouldn’t exist without it.

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Video: Watch Jay Versace Explain How Crystals Work

Maybe you’ve been living under a rock these last few years? But if not then you probably know who Jay Versace is – he is a YouTuber, model, actor, comedian, music maker, you name it. He pretty much does it all and he’s quite good at it.

I love how he explains how crystals work in his own unique, fresh way and doesn’t take up too much of your time as this video is less than 9 minutes long. My attention span is low these days so unless it’s a subject that I’m really interested in, I’m not a huge fan of long videos. If you can’t get your message across in less than 15 minutes then you lose me.

Jay also uses the terms ‘vibration’ and ‘frequency’. I’m sure you already know the famous quote from Nikola Tesla:

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

So if you’re tired of the standard, boring YouTube videos explaining how crystals actually work then watch Jay Versace’s version. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

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Death of My Friend and a 2020 Update from Metaphysical Vibes

It’s true – I’ve lost interest and motivation in posting for Metaphysical Vibes.

Roxy, my best friend of 13 years passed away unexpectedly on October 20, 2019. I haven’t been the same ever since. Though I am functioning for the most part, I know that I’m still grieving and will be sad for a long time.

I know that death is not the end, but merely a transition from this existence to another. I’ve come to realize that no matter how much I understand these metaphysical concepts, the death of a loved one will always be a difficult time for any person to experience including me.

So if you’re wondering why I’ve gone quiet, that is the main reason.

Luckily, the stones have been helping me get through it. My go to stones for grieving have been from my personal collection: Aura Rose Quartz, Rhodochrosite, Jade, Obsidian. Tigers Eye to keep on moving, Nuumite to call my personal magic back, Magnetite to stay grounded. A person who follows me on Instagram recommended Snowflake Obsidian which I don’t have but I’ve managed to self heal without it.

Another reason I’ve lost motivation for selling crystals is that Etsy – where majority of my crystal sales come from – has changed the way they do things on their platform. You basically now have to advertise in order for your listings to be seen.

So instead of people finding you organically through search, they want you to pay to be found. So my sales have gone down tremendously. It’s frustrating but there’s nothing I can do about it.

I will still keep this website and try to add more crystals when I feel like it, but for now…I’m just leaving this up.

I’ve been spending more time building up Crystal Healer LA. So if you’re looking for me, that’s where I’ve been.

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Drawing: The Magical Eye of Pyrite and Lapis Lazuli

Whatever your eyes “see” is how you perceive the world.

I have a special relationship with Pyrite – it was the mineral that got me motivated to start up this online crystal shop 2 years ago. So I will always be grateful to Pyrite for getting me started on this adventure.

From Krista Mitchell’s book Change Your Energy:
Pyrite is masculine, extroverted, yang, aggressive energy that helps you thrive, push through obstacles and succeed. Boosts ambition, energy and will. Fires up the metabolism and aids digestion. Attracts money, wealth & prosperity. Excellent for manifestation.

As for Lapis Lazuli, this stone helped me to create a vision. Although the vision I imagined in my mind didn’t manifest in the exact way I pictured – it still was a catalyst for magical things to occur in my life. I never thought that I would be doing any of this let alone get into the healing aspect.

From The Pocket Book of Stones by Robert Simmons:
Lapis Lazuli is a stone of visionary awareness, bringing new information to the mind in images rather than words. It enhances intellectual ability, making one a better learner and teacher. Lapis is a stone of initiation as well – a catalyst for a mystical journey to higher awareness.

Here’s a marker drawing that I did recently, I hope to take a better photo soon and replace this. Lately I have expressed boredom with just posting crystals on Instagram so I’ve been trying to change it up.

Both the Pyrite and Lapis Lazuli stones have sold.

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Some Random Crystal Related Memes I’ve Collected – Part I

Memes make everything better, don’t they? What would the internet be without them? A meme is an image – usually a half joke, half truth – you laugh about it then move on. I guess I was off and here is the actual definition of a meme.

If you are the creator of any of these and would like credit, please DM me on Instagram @metaphysical_vibes // thanks!😊

** When you never learned how to correctly express yourself so you just give them crystals instead **

** Today I share my generous spirit with all creatures **


** Me emerging from my hiding spot when I hear new people talking about tarot, crystals, astrology, and witchcraft @UncorkedWitch **

** Life is always rocky when you’re a gem **

** I asked the Universe to keep all the low frequency people away from me, now I’m in a dark room with incense, sage and crystals talking to myself **

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Reasons to Start Collecting Crystals & Stones

I’m attempting to do more YouTube videos for the purpose of promoting my crystal shop but also speaking better (still an introvert) and learning how to edit them in Adobe Premiere Pro. Here’s one I did recently, it’s only about 4 minutes long.

Reasons to Start Collecting Crystals and Stones:

  1. You want to remove negative energy

    Crystals and stones have been known to repel, remove negative energy.

  2. You want to expand your consciousness

    At some point in your life, you will have questions about your existence. Crystals will be the gateway to expanding your mind, body, soul and spirit. You will start to have metaphysical experiences.

  3. You want to heal yourself

    Crystals and stones have been known to have magical, healing powers. Hard to explain why, but it has to do with frequency and vibration.

  4. You want to increase your intuition

    Looking at the many layers of a crystal can activate your intuition, your third eye and your more subtle senses.

As always, learn to experience things for yourself instead of taking my word for it. One of the ways you can get to know your crystal or stone is to attune to its energy via meditation.

I also say in the video that if you are attracted to crystals, you probably have some healing to do.

Follow my crystal shop on Instagram: metaphysical_vibes